first day

well it has been so long

i almost forgot my password to my blog

really...I did

and I miss blogging

and checking in on my blog friends

I've been a bad one back to you all this summer

but it really has been a great summer

with my focus going into family and business

 i was so inspired today by my little girl going to kindergarten

it may have just given me what i needed to start writing on the blog again:)

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today was Madison's first day of kindergarten

and Hayley and I struggled during the day and in the morning

but Hayley and I stuck together for Madison

missed her

but had a great day ourselves:)

i had to drop some more paperwork at her school today

and we caught a quick glimpse of madison at lunch time

she was laughing and smiling...

just what I wanted to see

 Hayley and i walked out of her school

and she turns to me and says

"but mama...I just wanted to give her a hug'

I replied

"I know...me too"

as we both had a little cry back to the car again

then i had to make her smile for both of our sake:)

As Madison came home

Hayley gave her sis a big hug that melted my heart

Hayley said to Madison

"I really wanted to give you a hug today"

it just melted me

{waiting at the bus stop down the street}

I'm a proud mama today

of both of my little girls

Madison's kindergarten teacher sent home this lovely poem

I thought I'd share with you all

it brought tears all over again

but so true

First Day of School

Author Unknown

She started school this morning,

and she seemed so very small.

As I walked there beside her

In the Kindergarten hall.

And as she took her place beside

the others in the class,

I realized how all too soon

Those first few years can pass.

Remembering, I saw her as

She first learned how to walk.

The words that we alone made out

When she began to talk.

This little girl so much absorbed

In learning how to write.

It seems as though she must have grown

To girlhood overnight.

My eyes were blurred by hastily

I brushed the tears away

Lest by some word or sign of mine

I mar her first big day

Oh how I longed to stay with her

And keep her by the hand

To lead her through the places

That she couldn't understand.

And something closely kin to fear

Was mingled with my pride.

I knew she would no longer be

A baby by my side.

But she must have her chance to live,

To work her problems out,

The privilege to grow and learn

What life is all about.

And I must share my little girl

With friends and work and play;

She's not a baby anymore ~

She's in Kindergarten today.

five on april tenth

five years ago with an up and down not so fun delivery

we finally met our beautiful butterfly

Madison Ella

you arrived
with some of the strongest lungs they've heard
they said
but you had the longest eye lashes i had ever seen

i was completely in love with you

you had such beautiful petite features

and a full head of dark hair

that i just loved, loved!

after an hour or so after your birth
I was finally able to hold you

I didn't want to let you go

for anyone

even family

I wanted to cherish every single moment and study every single part on you

I think family had to remind me that they wanted to hold you too

there grew a special bond between both you and I
and Hayley and I...

with each pregnancy

 i had to have ultrasounds every 3-4 weeks

for various reasons

so the bond we had before you even arrived was so special

I wouldn't change our journey for you and hayley at all

it was all for a reason

but i still remember seeing you just 8 cells big

I was laying in the hospital room

just praying that this time was "the time" it was going to happen

Madison you are our miracle

you are such a blessing that we are so very thankful for

and when i woke up this past Sunday morning
~ your birthday ~

tears just welled up in my eyes

and i literally just cried

tears of happiness

joy

  thankfulness

and tears of just knowing i am always proud of you

i remember our journey for you so well

and I've tucked that back for many years

because when we were blessed with you

we just wanted to move forward

it became the past

and our present and future was with you

 the pain is just a distant memory

all thankfully behind us now

 yesterday you were five

and as daddy and I tucked you into bed last night

i remembered you were born about one hour and 20 minutes
before 8:45 pm

I cannot believe how quickly these past 5 years have gone by

I want to hold on tight and freeze time right now 

because i know it is going to fly by even faster

I'm so proud of you

for all that you are

and all that I see in you

for all that you have grown in just these past couple of months

with believing in yourself
having fun
and showing the "you" that we know well

as I'm typing right now

I'm thinking of the day when we found out
that we were pregnant

they warned us carefully that we were not out of the clear yet

but after three years

of things not working

I really knew you would and had to be okay

when my phone rang with them calling to give us the news
either way news

I was shaking

standing in our hallway

of our first home

 I had Bobby answer the phone because I couldn't...

 I may have been already crying with just the rush of feelings

daddy's eyes immediately welled up and a smile came across his face

 I immediately smiled after looking at him

Madison, we are so grateful for you

and so grateful that because of you

we were able to be blessed with Hayley twenty-three months later

five years later on April 10th

our little butterfly has grown up into a little girl

ready for kindergarten next year

{sigh}

you have always been so determined

focused

with every single thing you do

you have one of the biggest hearts i have ever known

kindness that is as sweet as can be

and a passion that radiates from your soul

you are the first to always offer me help

with anything and everything

and you do it with so much love

not too long ago...

Hayley was so tired and i was helping her brush her teeth

and I had just taken her sheets out of the dryer before her bedtime

and hadn't made her bed yet

i mentioned to hayley I would make her bed as soon as I was done helping her

I walked into hayley's bedroom

and you had already put her pillow and laid a blanket on Hayley's bed
for your sister

just because you wanted to help me
and do something nice for her

my heart just swelled with so much love and thankfulness

because Madison... you have such a joy when helping others

and helping your sister was the sweetest...

Madison

you 

inspire me to be better

every single day

your love language...

is definitely affirmation

and acts of service could be a close second

you are our butterfly that...

loves chocolate cupcakes/cake like her daddy

loves strawberries, oranges, and blackberries

fairy trees {broccoli and cauliflower}

"cacongos"
 {cacongos are coconut m &m's...but you call them "cacongos"}

 you love eating el fresco

 you love...

mahi mahi

gnocchi

{which you and Hayley call "p~nocchi"}

you love to help me decorate

and snuggle with me right before your bedtime

you love...

"Wednesday night" movie night

your family

friends

Jesus

Cadence

puzzles and games

you don't like to loose

especially when you and I race Daddy and Hayley into stores

{we usually always win...chuckle}
except when we lost "once"
you were not happy about that:)
neither was I:)

you are way too hard on yourself

very sensitive

loveable

stubborn

and super organized

you love to be a "fashionista"

{picking out/designing clothes}

you even dressed me for saturday before both of your birthday parties

you picked out my shoes and all my accessories

I think you could be my personal shopper 

you love white

your vintage chandelier in your bedroom

and vibrant colors

I always knew you would be a color girl

you love your sister

Hayley and you seem like long lost twins

as you two sometimes talk in your own language

you love, love the beach as much as we do

and you love to help me cook

 you usually have your foot stool by the counter

ready to help me

i love how silly you are in the car

and how you love to sing and dance to super fun songs with me

you are head over heals for Taylor Swift

and i cannot wait to surprise you this fall with her concert

I am so proud of you my sweet one

you are one of a kind

a little girl with such a big heart

Happy 5th Birthday

Madison Ella

we love you so much

xo

this little child of mine...

I have a little message
for this little child of mine


I've been so hesitant to even open up about this
because it makes me hold a mirror up to myself in may ways too
but when it comes to my kiddos
I would do anything for them


I have a precious almost 5-year-old
that is a perfectionist
that does not like perform, talk, etc. in group settings

unless she can do it perfectly

this little child of mine
wants to study something so precisely
before she even tries the first time

she wants to do it perfectly the very first time


this little child of mine
is waaay too hard on herself
definitely more than she should be
and that breaks my heart at times


she wants to take on it all
precisely.perfectly.and.without.failure
every.single.time
to me…
that’s not reasonable
to be quite honest

so this sweet child of mine
I do worry about


I've even been told by a couple of people
"what's happened to her? she wasn't always this way..."
{really, hmmm…}


...a little sting to me as a parent
“when sorry...”
is what I want to say
“you are wrong”


she has in fact always been this way
since the day she was born
both of my children are not like this
Madison and Hayley are completely different
so I know it is with her personality


and with different children you have to do things a little different
depending on that child

this little child of mine has always been
extremely motivated, organized, precise,
and eager to learn/study to get it "perfect"
especially in front of others



she has always been particular
strong
determined
even to hold her head up very early {as a newborn}
she was determined
to crawl and walk so so early
she was determined


I do know Madison
I am her mother
maybe over-protective at times
as I can relate to her personality
so I just want to hold and love on her


I have a sweet child of mine
that takes on so much with that little heart of hers

for a parent knows their child more than anyone
one of the beauties/responsibilities of being a parent
in my eyes
is that you can acknowledge
and see these traits when they aren’t helping them grow
and I have seen them bring her down a bit in her confidence and belief
so Bobby and I are doing something about it


I don't want to change this child of mine and the way she is “wired”
I want to improve, encourage, and grow her belief
I want her to learn to use those traits in a very positive/healthy way
a way that only helps her to succeed and reach her dreams later in life


I want her to be careful about setting unreasonable expectations of herself

I feel like there are days when I can’t tell her enough:


“God made you perfectly just the way you are…
 you don’t have to be perfect…
mistakes are more than okay to make
that's part of life”


all the things I have really learned or succeeded in life
I failed in the beginning or
I’ve had to keep trying
to get better
she is at such a young age that
she doesn't quite fully grasp that concept
{and I don't expect her to...I just want to help her along}


"It's okay to make mistakes"
"It's okay to fail
wipe yourself off and get back up"
"It's okay to have to try again"


every.single.thing,in.my.life.that.has.meant.the.most
I've worked for
I've had to practice at
I've had to fail at
I've had to get better
and I've had to embrace myself with my limits
I do want my kids to still see I make mistakes all the time

this little child of mine
I want to just hold and protect
and tell her all that every chance I get

we wanted her to find her niche
something that didn’t involve me always telling her
and something she could work at herself


she needed this
 something she could learn in a group setting
and not be afraid to make mistakes in front of others


she needed something that had things she could accomplish and try again at
she needed to BELIEVE in herself
that she could do it
all on her own


I want to see this child use her traits to blossom
grow
and to always be herself


I wanted to let her know that she can try new things in group settings
and not *always* get it right
but with practice, study, and trying again she will get more comfortable
she will get it


and that is why


my sweet child of mine
is now taking tae kwon do
and I couldn't be more proud of her after 2 1/2 weeks of it
seriously
I have seen this child of mine
blossom more in these past couple of weeks than ever before


she was very intimidated to begin the first week
both Hayley and her are taking classes together
it really helped to have her sister, Hayley, there in the beginning


now after 2 ½ weeks Madison is keeping her sister “in line” in class
and helping Hayley
line up
run laps
and be quiet when it’s time to listen


 in class…
Madison is trying
and not always getting it right
but you know what
she is getting back up with a smile on her face
having fun
and trying again until she does


that makes me a proud mama right there
her just trying again
and having fun with it


that is all I will ever ask of this child of mine

before she started...I talked with her instructor about my worries with her
about how I want her to BELIEVE in herself
I want her to learn how to make mistakes and continue on
and learn from having to practice
not perfectionism


I want her to be comfortable with herself
and appreciate her strengths
not focusing on her weaknesses
unless it is to work on them in a healthy way


I want this little girl to be confident
and see herself succeeding
I want her to approach new opportunities without even thinking about it
I want her to know that perfection is not what is important
but more importantly
learning from everything she does is what is important


I think we have found "that something"
that is helping her with all of that
to see this little girl’s confidence grow and bloom
has brought me some tears during her class
happy tears of course that are quickly wiped away
{I swear I cry at everything they do now}


Miss Madison
is very proud and happy about her uniform by the way
yesterday before her class she wanted to put it on
and pose for me in a pictures
all poses volunteered by her
{she particularly loves that she has a belt by the way}


I just think that is the cutest
how excited she is


this sweet child of mine
I will always be very proud of you

{btw...the "wait and see" song I just love in that He does have a plan for each of us
obviously all the wording doesn't all apply to Madison with some things}

three...

today is a sunshine day...

my baby is three today

should I repeat that

my baby girl is three today

and today is also the day I register my oldest baby girl

for kindergarten

and Bobby is away

I'm also in full party planning mode for this weekend

and I just want to cry about it all

because it is hard

it was really hard packing up her toddler bed

and converting her to a big girl bed over the weekend

a bedroom redo I'll hopefully show you soon

about a month ago

Hayley asked for a big girl bed

and I said maybe....just *maybe* for your birthday sweetie

and before we knew it

it was all happening before we even planned
when it would happen

so I'm getting my tears out now so I can be bright and shiny for two little girls

that will come walking down stairs this morning

happy as can be that one will be registered for kindergarten and the other will now be three

we had hoped and prayed for another child when you came along, Hayley

the month before we conceived you

was a very difficult month for us ...we decided it was our last and final failed cycle
we were going to do

but when we found out about you

you gave us hope and belief that it was still possible

it was happiness and excitement

just like what we experienced with Madison
after 3 years of trying with her

from the moment we found out we were pregnant with you

I told Bobby...

"boy or girl"...

*she* is a sunshine baby

and I bet him you'd have

light brown hair and blue eyes

just like daddy

and what'd ya know...

I was right

{chuckle}

as I carried you I always called you my sunshine

and we painted your nursery pale yellow

you still love your yellow walls

{even though your walls have been yellow since you were born}

you tell us weekly how much you love them

you also love the colors purple and pink

Hayley Elisabeth, you are....

our dragonfly

a bright smiling sunshine girl with every ounce of your being

you are a lover of love

and a snuggler

physical touch I'd say is your top love language

you love to hug

cuddle

and just be close to me

all.the.time

{smile}

when you sleep

I just look at you sometimes and remember seeing you
as you looked
the night you were born

and how your features were so tiny and small then

and they still are now

I see those beautiful, long eye lashes

{sigh}
and those lips you purse

with you...

you always ask to read one more book mama

as you love to read and color

 every night you say to me...

let's bunk together

which most nights I answer no, not tonight...Hayley

but you never give up asking me
because you ask me again every single night thereafter

you are a "cover stealer" and "cover kicker-off-er" when we do bunk together

and as a matter of fact you are all over the place when you sleep
nudging and often kicking someone in the side
all accidental of course

you love vanilla and strawberry
over chocolate anyday

{just like your mama}

I give you the option

and you almost always will answer

vanilla or strawberry

 

you are as outgoing as outgoing can get

but you also have a shyness come about

if you aren't ready to show you to someone

it's all about timing with you

as with you
there is also no time but "Hayley time"

when you are done taking pictures
it means you are done
and not "one more"
even when I say pretty please to you


that is...unless I bribe you
{smile}
and the day I took these
you wanted a strawberry milkshake
I said "you got it!"

i.e...see the "no smile" in this one...

well actually this is the face you give
right before you smile when you are trying to hold a smile in

 Hayley you are a carefree little girl

every.single.time we visit Grandpa

it is really hard leaving
but when both you and Madison are with me
you two always make Grandpa and I laugh

it has me feeling grateful and so happy
about our visit with him

before we are out of the parking lot

you sometimes ask to go see him again...

or when will we see him again
at the "hosbul"

you are my non-stop talker

to almost anyone you meet

about anything on your mind....

the dentist

the repair guy you offered a valentine to

you definitely are a charmer

a lover of wearing dresses

and your precious cowgirl boots

every day...your boots are the shoes
you have to wear

no ifs, ands, or buts about it
as a matter of fact...

I think they are adorable on you

and fit you and your personality quite well

you love to run and play outside

and dine al fresco in warmer weather

you are a lover of pigtails, ponytails

pizza, macoroni, mahi mahi, strawberries, yogurt, protein shakes, bars from tj's, and cookies

it's sooo hard to say "no" to those big blues of yours
and I often find myself laughing when I'm supposed to be putting you in timeout

you are as stubborn as stubborn can get

but you had no chance with that

as both your daddy and mama are stubborn

you make us laugh with your silliness

and like to sing and dance with Madison and I in the car

you love your strawberry shortcake friends,

princess and the frog, and rapunzel characters

you are so witty and have the best comebacks

that just make us laugh and smile

you love to call people

"tootie" and "stinky pants"

and love to tease daddy by calling him"Robby"
when he is Bobby

you are so sweet and thoughtful

always thinking of others whether it's an

"I love you"

 hug

or your artwork gifts you present to us from school

you are a sensitive little soul that gets her feelings hurt easily

you look up to your big sis so much
I'll catch you just studying and watching Madison's every move

and repeating what she says

because you love to be a part of what she is doing

you two are so close

two peas in a pod

and inseparable

we really have been blessed with two very special girls

and you are such an important and beautiful part of our family

I love you my sunshine girl

you're our little dragonfly

you love life with all of your heart and soul

happiness is just all around you

I'm so ready to spend the day with you

and celebrate with family this evening

thank you for all your love and all you do even at age three
that inspires me to be better

Happy Birthday Hayley Elisabeth

many hugs and kisses to you sweetie

xo

simply worn

well hello everyone

I have such a special post today

I am so excited to share with you a favorite business of mine
Simply Worn

I met Katie last fall {September} at my home town's fall festival in Liberty, MO

 I knew the moment I walked by her booth

I was in *love* with all she had displayed

I actually stopped in my tracks

and did a happy dance
when I saw her items

I had so much fun picking out flower pins, a necklace, and clips for the girls and I

Madison and Hayley loooove to wear her pretty clips and pins as much as I do
seen here in this post

I started talking with Katie about her business and how she got started

she told me she would hopefully have her online shoppe up and running very soon

*yay*

 because she lives 3 1/2 hours away

I left her my contact info so she could e-mail me when her online shoppe opened
but she said I could e-mail her anytime in between for orders

so without further ado

I'd like you to meet Katie

she's such a sweetheart to meet as well as do business with

and she's sponsoring a give-a-way this week...

I know you will enjoy getting to know her

so I had her write a guest post today
so you could see how wonderful her and her shoppe are
{details of the give-a-way at the end}

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Hello all!

My name is Katie 

My mom and I created SIMPLY WORN as a way to give new life to old clothing, textiles and vintage fabrics. We find vintage clothing (floral blouses, hot pink polyester pants, men’s dress shirts…that kind of thing) and turn them into one-of-a-kind flower pins and hair accessories.

We started SIMPLY WORN last August and quickly realized how popular our fabric flowers were to friends and coworkers.

We signed up for our first craft show in September {this is where Martha found us :) } and it was a complete success.

Since then SIMPLY WORN has become a part-time job for the both us - we have an online shop and sell our accessories at two stores in Kansas City.

{shop here}

I am a senior at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, majoring in Business & Entrepreneurship, and when I’m not studying or working, my mom and I love going to antique stores, thrift stores, estate sales, or wherever we can find unique and appealing fabrics and give them new life.

---------

today's give-a-way
is a wonderful set of white muslin hair clips

{found here}
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katie ~ thank you so much for so graciously sponsoring
a give-a-way!


I couldn't be more thrilled to share you and your mom's business, Simply Worn
I've linked Katie's blog under her name throughout the post if you'd like to follow her blog
or learn more


To enter the give-a-way
and in light of Valentine's Day
{possibly one of my favorite holidays}
okay it probably is...


1.     please leave a comment to enter
and tell me what "you heart"
{in life, about people, or anything you love}

2.     visit her etsy shoppe
and tell me in the same comment
what your favorite item is in her shoppe
Simply Worn or Simply Worn here
{she has two online shoppes}

3. if you are a follower you can leave a second comment as an extra entry
{if you aren't a follower yet...and you would like to be
leave a second comment if you become one


4.   if you share this give-a-way on fb, your blog post, or tweet it please let me know of that as well
in another comment
{but remember to link this post when doing so}

give-a-way ends Thursday, January 20th at midnight
winner will be announced sometime Friday or early Saturday
when I get back from a conference

Happy week everyone
xo

just the thing

I was randomly searching for a few things to get ideas

and inspiration and came across this

super cute and super girly fabric that I love
*love*
for Madison and Hayley

{both sourced}

and it's perfect for the girl's rooms for an idea
can't wait to show you what I'll do with it
{well after Christmas}
 because it goes with one of their presents

and the extra fabric left over
I've already got a few ideas what can be done with it too

hoping the pretty soft colors and florals give you a smile today

as we are diving straight into cold fall weather

thoughts

it's amazing sometimes

the way words can be written

that bring back such fond memories

ones that inspire you

on a daily basis

and make you smile

every.single.time

you read them

my inspiration for the day today

happy and safe labor day weekend

a sense of confidence...

last week I was able to join Madison's class at their

"Day at the Park"

for school...

a whole day at the park with her classmates, teachers, games, fun, BBQ, nature walks, and other activities...

{normally this little girl doesn't back down from picking worms up but these were huge!}

I just set everything aside that day and thought I would join them...

Madison doesn't share too many details about school...she keeps most of it to herself...

she has great days at school {because she will say that} but when she's home...she's home!

She has fun and plays with Hayley as soon as she gets home but I have that bit of hurt that I want to hear some details other than boys you know...I started over a year now our "favorite parts about our day" at dinnertime...its helping but I wanted to see her in action

but I just didn't imagine how much Madison would show me that day

one of my favorite days with her that day 
because I got to see her being the girl I know...
she is a quiet type A...but when she's comfortable and knows others she is quite the social bug, and I felt so blessed that I could put work and anything else aside that day and just go and have fun with her

I found out that she had those monkey bars down one-handed...I just couldn't get a picture since she just wanted me to lift her up to them and "hold" her legs which I really didn't because she could do it...

I loved seeing her out there
on the nature walk they took...
she was most of the time right up front and was one of the first to venture off of the path to go look at plants, flowers, trees, etc.

I was so proud of how adventurous she was

I didn't stay by her the whole time because I didn't want her to think I was right there but most of the time I just watched her or helped the teachers {or talked with them}

I loved seeing her enjoy her surroundings so much

we had some special bonding time just us

It gave me a "Mama just relax" moment because I worry about her sometimes
she is already so hard on herself...

definitely a perfectionist by nature and definitely struggles if she can't do something perfectly when she attempts it...
we are trying to help her with that...to just encourage her to go for it...

she's still a youngin'....this I know...

but I still worry about her

I don't want her growing up in the perfectionist world

and I don't want her to follow my path where I expected it of myself all too often

in all honesty I don't expect it of anyone else so why do I of myself?

she doesn't expect it of others either...

but she does herself

What I learned from her that day was just a feeling that came over me

I just smiled so big and felt so peaceful in knowing that I was being taught not to worry so much about her

she may still struggle with this

and right now she is with an activity...
she doesn't feel comfortable because she doesn't know the others at all

but you know I felt like she was showing me not to worry about her that day

she's going to be just fine

I was very thankful for that...

this girl teaches me so much as a mother and a person it's ridiculous...

I'm proud of this girl

because it was so nice to see her out of that shell

and so worth our special time together

and I felt I could relax about my worries {for now, right?}

a little at peace like Miss Hayley sleeping...

Being a mother never stops my mom tells me

at any age...

and I know I'll probably worry about this same thing again

but right now she showed me it's okay and she's learning her sense of confidence

thank you for that my butterfly

side note: the sprinkler now can be done on "command"...we just say "sprinkler"

but the best part is that they started doing it themselves when an upbeat song comes on...