five on april tenth

five years ago with an up and down not so fun delivery

we finally met our beautiful butterfly

Madison Ella

you arrived
with some of the strongest lungs they've heard
they said
but you had the longest eye lashes i had ever seen

i was completely in love with you

you had such beautiful petite features

and a full head of dark hair

that i just loved, loved!

after an hour or so after your birth
I was finally able to hold you

I didn't want to let you go

for anyone

even family

I wanted to cherish every single moment and study every single part on you

I think family had to remind me that they wanted to hold you too

there grew a special bond between both you and I
and Hayley and I...

with each pregnancy

 i had to have ultrasounds every 3-4 weeks

for various reasons

so the bond we had before you even arrived was so special

I wouldn't change our journey for you and hayley at all

it was all for a reason

but i still remember seeing you just 8 cells big

I was laying in the hospital room

just praying that this time was "the time" it was going to happen

Madison you are our miracle

you are such a blessing that we are so very thankful for

and when i woke up this past Sunday morning
~ your birthday ~

tears just welled up in my eyes

and i literally just cried

tears of happiness

joy

  thankfulness

and tears of just knowing i am always proud of you

i remember our journey for you so well

and I've tucked that back for many years

because when we were blessed with you

we just wanted to move forward

it became the past

and our present and future was with you

 the pain is just a distant memory

all thankfully behind us now

 yesterday you were five

and as daddy and I tucked you into bed last night

i remembered you were born about one hour and 20 minutes
before 8:45 pm

I cannot believe how quickly these past 5 years have gone by

I want to hold on tight and freeze time right now 

because i know it is going to fly by even faster

I'm so proud of you

for all that you are

and all that I see in you

for all that you have grown in just these past couple of months

with believing in yourself
having fun
and showing the "you" that we know well

as I'm typing right now

I'm thinking of the day when we found out
that we were pregnant

they warned us carefully that we were not out of the clear yet

but after three years

of things not working

I really knew you would and had to be okay

when my phone rang with them calling to give us the news
either way news

I was shaking

standing in our hallway

of our first home

 I had Bobby answer the phone because I couldn't...

 I may have been already crying with just the rush of feelings

daddy's eyes immediately welled up and a smile came across his face

 I immediately smiled after looking at him

Madison, we are so grateful for you

and so grateful that because of you

we were able to be blessed with Hayley twenty-three months later

five years later on April 10th

our little butterfly has grown up into a little girl

ready for kindergarten next year

{sigh}

you have always been so determined

focused

with every single thing you do

you have one of the biggest hearts i have ever known

kindness that is as sweet as can be

and a passion that radiates from your soul

you are the first to always offer me help

with anything and everything

and you do it with so much love

not too long ago...

Hayley was so tired and i was helping her brush her teeth

and I had just taken her sheets out of the dryer before her bedtime

and hadn't made her bed yet

i mentioned to hayley I would make her bed as soon as I was done helping her

I walked into hayley's bedroom

and you had already put her pillow and laid a blanket on Hayley's bed
for your sister

just because you wanted to help me
and do something nice for her

my heart just swelled with so much love and thankfulness

because Madison... you have such a joy when helping others

and helping your sister was the sweetest...

Madison

you 

inspire me to be better

every single day

your love language...

is definitely affirmation

and acts of service could be a close second

you are our butterfly that...

loves chocolate cupcakes/cake like her daddy

loves strawberries, oranges, and blackberries

fairy trees {broccoli and cauliflower}

"cacongos"
 {cacongos are coconut m &m's...but you call them "cacongos"}

 you love eating el fresco

 you love...

mahi mahi

gnocchi

{which you and Hayley call "p~nocchi"}

you love to help me decorate

and snuggle with me right before your bedtime

you love...

"Wednesday night" movie night

your family

friends

Jesus

Cadence

puzzles and games

you don't like to loose

especially when you and I race Daddy and Hayley into stores

{we usually always win...chuckle}
except when we lost "once"
you were not happy about that:)
neither was I:)

you are way too hard on yourself

very sensitive

loveable

stubborn

and super organized

you love to be a "fashionista"

{picking out/designing clothes}

you even dressed me for saturday before both of your birthday parties

you picked out my shoes and all my accessories

I think you could be my personal shopper 

you love white

your vintage chandelier in your bedroom

and vibrant colors

I always knew you would be a color girl

you love your sister

Hayley and you seem like long lost twins

as you two sometimes talk in your own language

you love, love the beach as much as we do

and you love to help me cook

 you usually have your foot stool by the counter

ready to help me

i love how silly you are in the car

and how you love to sing and dance to super fun songs with me

you are head over heals for Taylor Swift

and i cannot wait to surprise you this fall with her concert

I am so proud of you my sweet one

you are one of a kind

a little girl with such a big heart

Happy 5th Birthday

Madison Ella

we love you so much

xo