itty...bitty...go...go...

You are probably already wondering what the heck I'm writing about aren't you?

these past 2 weeks with my youngest at night have been "grand" to put it nicely...

I told Bobby...I have been through two newborn and baby stages and I would rather do them all over again if that means this non-sleeping thing would end with Hayley...

it is all night extravaganza and then when we finally get worn out she winds up in bed with us...and then the "fun" begins...

we get kicked

in the face

in the back

pushed out of bed

I have no pillows

I'm laying sideways on the bed with no pillows
{and just so you know I sleep with 2-3 pillows...I know how bad that is}

I hear Bobby saying "stop kicking me"
and a few choice words to be honest following it

she's up even earlier than normal...
cutting into my peaceful mornings

she's cranky

I end up bribing her during the day for some peace

we are pulling out all of the stops to help her sleep

but then I laugh

because Bobby and I look at one another and we both look like zombies

maybe not him so much...

but me..I'm definitely zombie...thank goodness for my new highlighter:)

we are even acting like zombies

my eyes feel so heavy and then it dawned on me...

we went through this with Madison before Hayley arrived for 4 months...

I can't do this for 4 months you all

I'm up early and staying up later to get things done

except for last night because I crashed on the sofa and barely remember going to bed, and I didn't hear Miss Hayley wake up, cry, kick the numerous times and then she also woke up Miss Madison

I laughed about it that Bobby dealt with it, and then I felt bad because he dealt with it all by himself last night while I slept cozy...nestled in my super soft pillows 

I was so exhausted ~ I don't remember a thing

oops

{chuckle, chuckle}

But this morning I woke up refreshed and feeling good

ready to take on the day

that is until I went on my run and felt sluggish from continued no sleep

so we made a decision that it was probably time to have her "Bye, Bye Crib Party"...

we probably didn't need to do it for Hayley as much as we needed to do it for me because those things really aren't important to Hayley...but you know the momma has to be okay with that change...


after going through it once with Madison we finally remembered ~
"oh it's time to make the switch, huh?"

I'm reluctant to do it because that means my baby is growing up...
she wasn't climbing out of it even though she is my climber...strange but true...

for months Bobby has been trying to convince me to make the switch

I told him "you're crazy honey...100% crazy!!! Absolutely not...she's content in the crib and I personally enjoy my mornings that I can go get her...not her coming to get me!" {even though I love that too}

Hayley was our child who used to not cry at bedtime...just occasionally...she almost welcomed going to bed

I guess we are passed those days for the moment...

so two nights ago we attempted to make the switch...we were going to just put up the toddler bed for her that we had until we made a decision on what bed for her...

meaning do we use the toddler to start her off on or do we convert her crib to the full bed?...If so I need to get painting it

but we spent ALL night long looking for the screws to the bed...so attempted is what happened

they are missing

and we had taken the crib down already and she slept with the mattress on the floor that night...

a better night...but still up all night!

the other day I thought I hit the jackpot...

I said "Hayley it's time for a nap!"...
I couldn't find her...until I saw she was laying in her bed already covered up

I wanted to do a joyful dance but I held back not to get her excited so she would sleep...

and she slept for 2 1/2 hours

This morning I just laughed about it all because she knows the difference in the mattress "on the floor" and sees the frame of the toddler bed sitting there and not put together

she's having a fun ride right now...banking on us caving in because we simply want sleep

So in the mornings I always say to them...

 "Good morning Sugar Booger!"

because if they wake up on the wrong side of the bed this helps make the switch to the right side and a smile forms...

This morning I laughed so hard with Hayley

She said to Cadence in her tired little girl voice..."hey sugar booger...you itty bitty go go!"

Hence the title...itty bitty go go

Madison calls Cadence "Cada"

Hayley calls her "itty bitty go go"

And whether these sleepness nights end anytime soon...

I'm thankful for those sweet nicknames they give their special loves in life...because sleepness nights are probably the least of some people's worries ~ and this will come to an end I tell myself.

by the way I asked her if I could do some photos of her this morning...
and she climbed into bed...and acted like she was sleeping...

as I am finishing typing this tonight...I just realized...she is sleeping...for 3 hours straight...she loves her new sleeping arrangement...now if we would have thought about this 1 week ago...{sigh}

bittersweet...

our garage is completely full and packed...

oh yes it is...

but I don't really feel happy about it right now

"that's okay" I'm telling myself

this weekend we moved my Grandpa from independent living to assisted living...

it was just time

but really difficult for us

he is in the same building just on the "other" side

we are so thankful it is a great place with no worries about his care

but I had a lot of deep breaths and gulps over the weekend...

he had us take a lot of his things

and I couldn't be happier because they are from both my Grandma and Grandpa...and to be honest...they were ironically all the things I was in search of for our home

I love that they are his but not loving the fact how quickly I feel like this has happened...

and the reason why we have his things is really hard...

change is very hard for me when it comes to these issues

I saw my Grandpa almost everyday growing up ~ he lived down the street from us

but then we went through a time where we didn't see him for several years because of someone who didn't like us that became a part of his

Our family finally got him back 3 years ago,
 and we all have been treasuring our time with him again.

I have to remind myself that it is better for him...more interaction and more involved care for him at his new place...exactly what my Grandpa needs

but it is just hard for me and on the 16th he goes in about a consultation about the skin cancer on his back...

I don't have it together with him because his memory is starting to fade but in reality he really is doing pretty well
his sense of humor is grand with it all

It's us {family} who are not doing well with this change...
well he was a bit confused about his change when we saw him a couple times this weekend
but he is doing so well seriously at almost 91...

my garage is full of his wonderful things
it just doesn't seem right though...

and you know what is coming to mind right now?
A bell just went off about this post written by Paige from Simple Thoughts...
 "listen here, Missy!"

it's a great one if you haven't read it and she is just amazing...

because I know that is what He is telling me right now...

it's better for him...he's okay...and well taken care of.

"Martha, put on your big girl pants and enjoy every visit you have with him in his new home" is what I should be saying and He will take care of the rest.

{hyacinths courtesy of my parents}

found

a galvanized tub for herbs...

my mom called me and told me about these perfect tubs at our local grocer for $5 a piece that included seeds and dirt to start yourself

I was so excited to try to start mine from scratch...

plus these are the three herbs I use the most

basil

chives

parsley

well I use cilantro quite a bit too...

I usually cheat and buy them already started from Trader Joe's every year

because it is much cheaper to grow your own herbs then buy them fresh every week.

{which I still may do if this doesn't work out}

but at least I will be left with 2 cute galvanized tubs if they don't work...

I'm trying mini tomatoes too...YIKES!...

I love to do flowers but haven't tried much of a herb garden or tomatoes...

also found...

two little girls who made a dance platform with sleeping bags in the kitchen while "helping me" with dinner

their favorite song of choice right now to dance around to is

"Soul Sisters" by Train...that's why its on my blog...song number three.

cheers to a great weekend...

I've got some projects in store

Your time to shine...

on occasion I do make some sense...I literally was tongue-tied meeting with people two nights ago...but they laughed about it...


But in all honestly I haven't done this post yet because I tear up thinking about it...I know many of you know I attempt to lay it out there...I'll do my best to share without getting too "businessy..."

 I have been going non-stop since I have been home with my business, kiddos to appts, catching up on errands....you know all the stuff a mom has to take care of

but the trip for so many reasons was great...mostly because when I come home ~ I won't be able to see them for a little bit ~ I know I can share everything with them and they just love on me and support me...and then I feel tears coming because I think...

"this is what I do...this is really my job?"....and I feel so thankful for it...it was the best conference to-date...

we had a formal night for awards, concert, and such ~ don't you love getting dressed up? I actually didn't do formal this year ~ I did a spring dress but our president and CEO looked gorgeous

when I think of these women here below that I have gotten closer with over the years I smile...they know my personal struggles...they know everything...and I get cheered on...and we talk everything and we are like-minded with like-minded goals...

I'll be honest...it is hard to to go from so much support to where it is difficult sometimes when you come back...and have issues that have to be dealt with but that is when the persistence pays off...only thinking of the end result with whatever you are working towards

circumstances are just how they are and they are okay...we talked so much about how it is okay with things that are ongoing that you have to deal with them

I just have to keep getting on that boat and keep working and let God sail me through the finish... {you realize I love any kind of beach analogies by now, right?}

Believe is a very important word to me...and the theme this year
I know you all are outside of my business but a song our company now owns is:

it is your time to shine

{which is not available yet}

I don't mean that as in forget family, everyone around you, and be selfish


but I know personally I haven't set out what I have wanted to do quite yet
and to get there it has to become

a time to shine...

you get what I mean, right? I don't mean that as in "spotlight" shine I mean it as...what is holding you back shine...getting rid of the not so great thoughts and things you continue to tolerate in your life...and just letting go so you can shine in whatever your purpose 

I love these girls with all of my heart...and I got to stay with one of our VP's...can you believe that? We already knew one another but she loves vintage a little bit too...it made my heart sing...and I swore I jumped up and down when she said it...not really but if I did she probably would have thought I was nuts!

We laughed so much we cried ...we had a hilarious comedian/psychologist speak for a session~ she was so funny and had so much insight...we all know one another's shapes {personalities} now and once you know that it becomes so fun...you can walk around looking at your team and you now see their shape on their forehead {not literally} when you talk to them...it is so funny...one of the best trainings I have ever sat through not only because it was funny but because she taught us so much on how to deal with different shapes.

the weird part...I'm a combination of shapes
I know what you are thinking...
there is something wrong with her:)
perhaps you are right
really most of us have one that stands out and can have a little bit of another
so much has happened with our team in these last few days...I feel so thankful to know them which is probably why I start to cry when I think of this weekend {in a good way}...I miss them:)


One had a severe allergic response to medicine and thankfully there was a hospital right across the street while we were there...her face swelled up but she got to the hospital quick enough to prevent major things from happening...

Another yesterday was in a terrible car accident with our company car that saved her life because it is the safest out there and she was told her car saved her life by the firefighters...She had two of her five children with her and the driver was doing something on his phone and ran a red light ~ her car was totaled but the more important part is that she is safe and sound along with her family.

yes we realize our wardrobe wasn't the best in this picture

but the important part of the picture is what shows between us

{we all can't wear heels every moment you know}

I found out yesterday a very good friend of mine received some bad news today regarding her family which struck a strong cord with me...

my heart has felt for some very important people

not to mention a big change for my grandpa is coming this weekend but it will end up being a very good thing for him so even though the change will be hard for us it will be better for him

So you know what else I am keeping them as close as I can...you just never know...
of course we had some quality time fun...

did I tell you that I went to Paris while I was there...

not the Paris you were thinking right...but this is the closest I will get to Paris right now:)

another realization...
well I think I continue to realize this...
I have a big forehead...
My name is Martha and I have a big forehead:)
but I don't want to have bangs...they aren't in my cards
because I need easy peasy hair and bangs are not easy for me
so I'll take the big forehead:)

time away always does some good you know...it's good to be home

safari girl...

tomorrow I'm headed to the airport for a long weekend away...

all by myself

no hubby

no kids

to a conference I attend every year for my business...our national conference....

I've never flown just ME...I have flown with just Madison and Bobby and all of us together but not just me ~ but when I get there I will be far from alone so have no worries...not that you did anyway, right?

I'm so excited because this conference will be a celebration of 30 years for them

the women I spend time with are truly wonderful

mentors of mine

friends

those that have supported me from day one with my business

because that is who they are...they are the real deal

and provide so much insight and support for me

it is a celebration every day with them...

it's a time where I feel like I can connect with them since we live apart from one another

they are the friends I can talk about what I do...I can talk about life...I can talk about silly fun things...ridiculous things...family...everything, and I know they really care

I love what I do so much because I believe in health and wellness with a passion...I believe in being cautious about what we use interally and externally with our bodies...and I believe in sharing with those who have a desire to learn about it too...

I am beyond happy doing what I am doing...

my heart is in it

it is something I know deep down I can do well

and the best part about what I do is when when people allow me to help them and they share their results with me....be it health...or beauty...or self-esteem...

when they do I smile so big inside

So I'm off to learn these next several days...and will be gone on a little "safari"...
{not really a safari but i needed a tie in for what I am transitioning to...}

I will discovering the new things with our company

discovering some new things about myself

and doing it with people that believe in me

because we are on this journey together

I always come back from this re-energized...not just with my business...but with myself...I know I will do a lot of crying...the good and healthy tears...

you know the ones that help you move forward and grow

our team for some reason is known to cry...my sponsor jokes that if one starts crying...it's the domino effect

but at least it's all together...there is something comforting in that

Every year I realize and learn something else about myself that I want to improve upon and every year I get better at believing in myself so I can be better at my business and better at being me...

So when I picked Madison and Hayley up from school Monday...
she was my little safari girl on Monday...

she was dressed the part {they made bandanas, visors, and she happened to wear her vest as a coat that day}~ ...they turned an open area at school into a safari atmosphere for the kiddos...

yes...under her bottom lip she had a bad fall...down some stairs and has a rug burn...scared the wits out of us...so bad Daddy needed a hug!

Anyway...she came home so proud to show me what she was wearing...
and rambling about some new friends that she made...

and they are boys...so I got the "low down" on Dalton who is her new friend that is also friends with Mitchell...and they are not Brenton's friends {her best boy friend} because they are her friends that also play with Brenton...

I had to get the semantics right with her you know...
she's just short of turning 4 but apparently she knows her stuff

and I laughed telling Bobby about this because he is already having issues with our almost 4-year-old talking about boys...she definitely has some girl friends too but she gets googlie-eyed over Brenton specifically...

it's truly a riot...so on the way home...she wouldn't really talk about the safari much...but she sure did about the boys...

at least according to her "she isn't supposed to kiss boys until she is married"...

100% her words by the way...

which Daddy about did a happy dance when she said that...

"sure honey," I thought...if that is what you want to think...she won't kiss a soul until she is married...obviously we don't want her kissing anyone for a very loooong loooooonnnnggg time but I just like to play along to get the hubby all out of sorts you know...

about 3 weeks ago she said for the first time to us...

"I want to marry you Daddy!"

My little safari girl...someday you will {not Daddy of course}

but for now...we want you to be our little 4-year-old girl who isn't always talking about marriage and boys quite yet...

does it really start now?

I'm going to be gone for a girl's weekend...

and I am waiting for some stories from hubby about Madison telling him about her friends that happen to be boys ...

he tries to deflect those conversations with Madison by asking her
"why don't you tell me about....Emma...Annabelle" { some of her girl friends}

as I'm laughing...

hope you all have a great weekend and before I'm off...

Happy Anniversary Dad and Mom 37 years on St. Patty's Day

photos 1 -5 found here {arent' they fantastic!} and yes she has a lovely blog here...

monday...

I think some mornings are meant to start off beautiful...
except the fact that I had to ask Bobby 3 times what day it was...I knew it was special but couldn't remember the day of the week...I guess I was secretly hoping it was Sunday all over again...

Happy 2nd birthday sweet Hayley...as today is the official day!

ooohhhh....the signs of Spring...

 this weekend...


I'm sending you sweet signs of Spring
the tulips are about to arrive...oh I am happy and giddy over this

a hug

or two hugs if you need them

a pretty little apron to wear in your kitchen

{courtesy of Tara's Vintage Kitchen}

pretty grey skies...even if it means rain...at least it's going to be the Spring rain, right?

and perhaps some exploring to find those perfect items you have been looking for

and of course some smiles for you...

Okay...well...since I just got done watching a show...

a big ole' question mark as to why oh why 2 of my favorites did not make the top 12 on American Idol...
oh boy...I still have a couple of favorites left...well 2 guys and 2 girls left...
but I am saddened...Lilly and Alex no more....{sigh}
thank goodness it was taped because if it was live I probably would have been more upset you know...why that makes a difference I have no clue but it just does...

free...

the other day...Monday specifically I guess ~ after school for the girls...

we had some free time ~ and it was a beautiful day ~ absolutely beautiful day ~ although they played outside at school ~ I wanted some outside time with them...just us three ~ well four including Miss Cadence...

I love to surprise them on Mondays by bringing Cadence in the car when I pick them up...every week I tell them "I've got a surprise for you...you want to guess?"...

hmmm....and they still keep guessing, and I love that...

Easy surprises make me happy...

{So} in our neighborhood we have quite of bit of area that hasn't been developed...

and I wanted the girls to be free for awhile ~ we live on a corner lot without a fence so you know that really doesn't happen much to where I don't feel like my 2 year-old is running in the opposite direction as my soon to be 4-year-old is wanting to be in another...

I drove to the back of our subdivision in an empty cul-de-sac with a decent view...this area was perfect...because my girls love "fluffs" or so that is what they call them ~ there was a ton of fluffs!

...and it was peaceful just letting them run around for awhile picking as many "fluffs" as they could in those tiny little hands

and what I love to do best is watch my girls interact...of course they don't always get along...that is sisters for you...BUT they do most of the time and their interaction just melts my heart...

they have a sense of freedom between them that I find is also bringing them closer as they grow together

It makes me smile...a little bit of time I can sit back and actually do nothing other than watching them together in a place where I don't have to worry about the noises of cars...maybe a few airplanes here and there...

but the quiet where I can just hear their voices, the breeze, you know that peacefulness {is that a word?} or maybe hearing myself bribe my youngest to stand still long enough to take a picture with big sis...

but regardless...

feeling the freedom of doing nothing feels so good sometimes...

feeling the breeze

and the quiet of your surroundings is so wonderful...

seeing them grow as sisters together is so important to me for so many reasons...
I love that we were given the chance to have them close in age...

their bond makes me

laugh
smile
love

I am the happiest when I can watch them and have those special moments with them...

and I just followed them around trying to do justice with pictures to how peaceful our hour or so was

and do justice to how the breeze moved their hair and the "fluffs" in their hands...

the part that made this moment special for me as a mom was the fact that they are not just sisters by blood...I mean they are...but they are sisters also by love and acceptance...they have a special bond that goes beyond blood

Madison is so aware to Hayley's needs and Hayley never forgets to do something for Madison...

And I will not and am not too naive to always think it will be this way...because I know they will have their times as they get older where it won't be...but I am hoping they will know their is a solid foundation between them to come back to ~ at least I hope...I'm not perfect but I am trying to show them that without really saying it to them...

I love this age {maybe because it is the right now}
but now when they have the conversation between them makes it interesting to say the least...I sometimes laugh so hard I cry ...

like a couple of evenings ago {maybe Monday too}...Hayley started talking about Donkeys at dinner...where donkeys entered the mind of that little one I have know idea
but Madison chimed in...

'Hayley we don't eat donkeys...that would be disgusting!"
Hayley: "donkeys...wa-custing [her disgusting}...eat donkeys"
Madison: "we don't eat horses Hayley {since I guess they are like donkeys too}...disgusting"
Hayley: "yes disgusting"
Madison: "or hippos, giraffes"
Hayley: "donkeys"
Madison: "no Hayley...we don't eat donkeys"

and what do you know it repeats all over again...dinner conversations at our home get interesting and repetitive...I promise you don't want to know what was discussed at Madison's first birthday dinner...I won't even go there...

but anyway...

I loved this hour or so after school...where I wasn't stressed about my list for a moment...or dinner...or anything...but just letting them be free and letting them be

and I cannot wait to do more of this kind of fun when the spring and summer weather is finally here...
so please get here quick Spring...please come early because you see the girls and I want some more days like this outside:)

Here's to another day of just being...