March 29, 2010

bittersweet...

our garage is completely full and packed...

oh yes it is...

but I don't really feel happy about it right now

"that's okay" I'm telling myself

this weekend we moved my Grandpa from independent living to assisted living...

it was just time

but really difficult for us

he is in the same building just on the "other" side

we are so thankful it is a great place with no worries about his care

but I had a lot of deep breaths and gulps over the weekend...

he had us take a lot of his things

and I couldn't be happier because they are from both my Grandma and Grandpa...and to be honest...they were ironically all the things I was in search of for our home


I love that they are his but not loving the fact how quickly I feel like this has happened...
and the reason why we have his things is really hard...

change is very hard for me when it comes to these issues
I saw my Grandpa almost everyday growing up ~ he lived down the street from us

but then we went through a time where we didn't see him for several years because of someone who didn't like us that became a part of his

Our family finally got him back 3 years ago,
 and we all have been treasuring our time with him again.

I have to remind myself that it is better for him...more interaction and more involved care for him at his new place...exactly what my Grandpa needs

but it is just hard for me and on the 16th he goes in about a consultation about the skin cancer on his back...

I don't have it together with him because his memory is starting to fade but in reality he really is doing pretty well
his sense of humor is grand with it all

It's us {family} who are not doing well with this change...
well he was a bit confused about his change when we saw him a couple times this weekend
but he is doing so well seriously at almost 91...


my garage is full of his wonderful things
it just doesn't seem right though...

and you know what is coming to mind right now?
A bell just went off about this post written by Paige from Simple Thoughts...
 "listen here, Missy!"

it's a great one if you haven't read it and she is just amazing...
because I know that is what He is telling me right now...

it's better for him...he's okay...and well taken care of.

"Martha, put on your big girl pants and enjoy every visit you have with him in his new home" is what I should be saying and He will take care of the rest.

{hyacinths courtesy of my parents}

9 comments:

blondiensc said...

It is hard to watch our loved ones grow old, I completely understand what you are saying, so bittersweet..and at 91 still being alive for you to love on, that is amazing!! Cherish every moment, and make sure your little ones are able to spend time with him and take his belongings and love on them the way he would!! big hugs, he is lucky to have family like you. xo

Jules said...

91! Wow you are blessed to still have him in your life. I lost both my grandparents in my 20s...

DustyLu said...

I am truely sorry for what you are going threw. I hate change too esp these kinds of changes. I afraid I fear growing old..Something I deal with all the time. It is so hard to see the ones we love slowly fade away..heart wrenching..I know those wonderful things in the garage will have so much more meanings and will now be passed from generation to generation..~lulu

paige said...

i know that is just breaking your heart
i was listening to an artist interviewed today & she was talking about her own again parents & having to place them in an assisted living. it just brought me to tears. thinking about how often times the last years just seem so lonely....
praying for you precious friend

you are wise
you are making the decision to treasure what you have of him now
xo

Karena said...

Beautiful thoughts and reminder to love in the moment. The flowers are a favorite.

Giveaway is up on my site. Come join in!

Karena
Art by Karena

Laurie said...

Can I just add that he's THE cutest grandpa EVER?? :) I'm sure that even though this was the best decision for him, it's tough for all involved. I love how you ended the post- with your big girl pants on! :)

Tracey said...

Hi sweet Martha! I feel for you, and know how difficult this is for you. Just love your grandpa and cherish the moments you have with him, regardless of where he is living. And treasure too the items that he gave you, knowing they will be beloved family heirlooms for many years to come!

Hugs to you my friend ~

:) T

koralee said...

Oh sweet friend...growing old is not fun. I understand you concern and sweet love for your grandpa. Sigh...but you are right it is hard but he will be ok...you love him and have to do what is best for him. Sending you much love. xoxo

Mary said...

Oh Martha, I know how hard this is for you. I went through the same thing not so long ago. The change is just so hard! But know he is well taken care of, that is what is so important. Isn't it funny how these things effect us more than the person going through them? I guess it is probably a little relief for them to not have to struggle in ways they did when they lived more "independently" but we need to adjust in a different way. I guess life just keeps rollin'. I'll keep your sweet Grandpa in my thoughts... ~mary~