Showing posts with label fertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fertility. Show all posts

May 9, 2010

i'm just a girl in heels...

who does the best she can


who eats and organizes her m & m's by colors...
and saves her favorite color for last
{I'm not the only one who does this, right?}


I'm also a girl that is a mom

twelve is a number that has some meaning to us...
and if you know Bobby and I we are odd numbered people
seriously...you will never see us pick an even number
the number thirteen is our personal favorite


these twelve flowers have a special meaning to both of us
ten of those flowers helped us with the other two


three years ago I laid down a burden
completely laid it down and gave it to Him


we were overcome with doubt and fear
we carried a daily weight that we weren't meant to carry
we couldn't punish ourselves with something that was never ours to begin with


when I found my freedom from it
was when Bobby went through his most difficult time with it
it was a glorious time for me but the most difficult time I saw my husband go through
he couldn't lay it down
he needed more time


and he got just that
it was just my turn to love on him this time through
My strength to love on Bobby had to have came from Him
because I cannot explain how the peace suddenly came over me
a peace where I accepted


a peace where I knew and felt it was okay no matter what happened
after the call we received I literally looked at Madison
had a moment of tears but even that day I felt happiness and immediate peace


I was given the strength
but I had a big job in order to begin the prayers of healing for my husband



When the time was right for him we took the time to lay down the ten together
neither one of us could carry the burden anymore
we will always have them in our heart
but two blessings is what we

 love today
 cherish today
 and what is beautiful in our lives right now


I'm just a girl in heels...

that loves to celebrate today
that isn't perfect but still learning
that has a difficult time leaving all burdens to Him like I should

but I'm this girl in heels who loves

her family
flowers
running
anything beachy
I even go so far as to stare at rooms in my house and I really think I see the ocean right outside the window...{that is until I walk outside and realize my reality is much better...even without the beach, right?}


today is a day where I smile and celebrate
where I hear those cute giggles when they watch movies together
and two seconds later they are fighting and crying
one is whining
one is telling me no and first thing in the morning says "I pooped my pants"
{yes this is the youngest one who is in the process of potty training}

and then they both decide they need some snuggles and love from me
or for me to wipe a tear
or make them laugh by dancing for them in a comical way


today is a day that is special
but I know it's also difficult for some for so many reasons
I hope for peace, love, and warmth to be shared to those who need it the most

for me...I'm giving this handsome man a big ole' smooch-a-roo and a couple of hugs


and my girls a good laugh and some love

by the way...I haven't shared with you yet...
I'm also a girl that really enjoyed Iron Man 2
it is a must see!

yes...I'm a girl who loves a love story just as much as action superhero movies...
and a girl who loves this song because it describes exactly our journey of how we got to celebrate Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day

and just a side note...when I asked Bobby if I could take a few pictures of him...this was his initial reaction...gotta love this man...it's so fun to catch him off guard and he is a great sport with pictures!...just wanted to keep it real for you:)

October 15, 2009

Dream a little dream....

Have you ever thought about if you are there yet?....I'm talking about are you still dreaming and making new dreams along the way?

...Or are you still waiting...to dream?...

Me...I think I'm pretty close to where I want to be in my big picture dream...and seeing them unfold right before my eyes...
Sure there are many things I still dream about...that I'm not close to being, having, or doing yet....

...Like refinshing my kitchen cabinets...or getting to where I want to be in my business...or already earning next year's trip again...

...But in the big scheme of things...I know my dreams have been unfolding right in front of me...my big picture dreams...
...Sure I dream hubby and I continue to get closer...

...I dream that my girls will always know what true faith is and have all they need right in front of them...
...I do dream for material things too...{lets be honest}...like decorating my home the way I see it in my head...

...and a home with a basement...we are definitely outgrowing our home...

...And when I think about the road that we have taken to get here...
...It has been rough at times...but that's a normality in life {for everyone}...our dreams have become...very, very happy times... They are reassuring...that I always have my handsome hubby with me...as we dream together.......Scary....when we didn't know what would result from our fertility issues...

....Breathtaking...like when I saw my girls for the very first time...

...And all those experiences worth every minute...
...Picking up the pieces after those hard times...
...Shoving them in your pocket...
...And smiling BIG to see you are past those times...and moving on with your new dreams......Just as the waves continue...up...and...down...so will my life be...a continual adjustment...

...But the downs get so much easier...I've always thought...
...The best part is....so many dreams are continually coming true...but my dream list continues to grow...there is so much I still dream about...
...with love, my family...and faith...
Dream a little dream...many little dreams...There's still so much more...I've always thought when you stop dreaming...you stop living...and I will never do that...
...I've become a great dreamer......that is my most favorite improvement about myself over these years...
I simply dream to just dream...

...I don't always think about the how's, when's, and plans every minute {well sometimes I still do}...
...But I've learned while dreaming...I will always dream until it's my time...

...When I pictured things 15 years ago with hubby...this is what I thought about...our life as we know it...right here...
with our girls...him and I together...

with lovelies in our life...
Dreaming a little dream....
because we didn't get to our family dream easily...not really at all...but it's all okay now...more than okay...your dreams always work out you know...at least faith + dreams has worked for me...but I wouldn't change it for the world...nope...

...I would keep it just the same...

...what I will do better...

...is my opinion of myself...
...I have some pain I carry with that...that eases up on me...when I least expect it...
...And tries to pull me down...

...But what I realized is that I have never been more prepared for those times...as I am now...

...That I now stand up for myself...sometimes not in the most perfect way...

...But I say what I feel when I feel it...

...and I feel good doing that...
...I've let go of people...
those that have intentionally tried to hurt our marriage this past year or so because of their issues...I've realized that their actions have nothing to do with us...it never did...they are not part of either one of our dreams...thankfully...

...I get less bothered when people judge me...when they think I look too young...and I now see how sad for them...they are missing out...
...So with the waves up and down...my dream a little dream is right here in front of me...I still have work to do in this life...
...lots and lots of it...

...I have more dreams...

...for hubby and I...oh do I love him...{sigh}
...for my girls...
...for our family...
...for my business...

...and even for my beachy vintage finds...{is that even a style...well if not, I'm making it up}

...BUT the most important BIG dream...the one I imagined 15 years ago with hubby...

we've gotten so much right...{and a lot wrong too...I think we all can say that don't you think?}

...the outcome...has been something marvelous for us these past 15 years...

{Because} our dreams ...have been ones we both can say...they have us right where we want to be...here
...they are near and dear to us...the things that make us tick...smile...laugh... appreciate...
...I'm learning to roll with it more as I dream my little dreams...that I don't always have to have a plan...

...I'm not 100% at that yet...but I'm getting closer and closer...and I'm really okay with not ever being 100% but getting as close as I can...because when I do...the rewards are wonderful ...{I've found so far}...
I continue to enjoy the view of life as I dream a little dream...
Whether the waves are big with good times or small waves of difficult...the view I will continue to enjoy...with hubby and I as we dream the little dreams together...
{a little behind with my blogging here...pictures from Day 3 here and Day 4}