January 2, 2010

The Road Underneath Me...

For as long as I know...the road underneath me is quite a constant...


sometimes it feels long....

sometimes it is uphill...

most of the time adventurous...

challenging in ways you never expect it...

sometimes the road is a *freeing* downhill...

and sometimes it is just plain beautiful...with the scenery...barns...atmosphere...

And when I ran today...the phrase "the road underneath me" wouldn't leave my mind...and that is when I knew this run was going to show me something...

Just as in life...we have much ahead of us like the roads keep going...it is about which path you take

sometimes days seem long...

some seem way too short...and you just wish you could squeeze in a few extra hours of enjoyment...

other times life's circumstances have you feeling like they have you constantly going uphill...

and other times you feel the rewards, comfort, and joy...

but when all this is going on...you also realize your life is full of adventure...both good and bad...fun challenges and also difficult ones

you have things in life that make you stop and admire the beauty ~ whether it is your children...family...the roof over your home...or the ocean...

some things register through sound ~ katydids during summertime,
through sight.... like the break of the waves,
or even touch.... when a hug works magic

As I went on my run today...the road seemed peaceful...
{maybe because no one in their right mind was outside}

But my challenge was the extremely cold wind...I felt prepared being bundled up...but I knew what awaited me outside...
it was one of those days where you just have to accept the challenge and go for it without looking back...but seeing the road beneath me go by as I moved forward

You see in our neighborhood there are 3 beautiful homes along the side of our neighborhood that have quite a bit of land ~ they were here way before the homes in our subdivision were ~ and as I am running I think about if the owners are happy that all of these houses now have become the view of their front windows.

They had all of this land before and 4 or so years ago it was gone~ whether they sold it themselves or had no control over the neighborhood being built ~ I still love to look over on that side of the road during my runs to see them and the land around them....because it is just beautiful.

When I leave our little section of houses to the main road of our subdivision I see this white house with a porch all along the front {my favorite}~ they have a barn and some land where they have 2 beautiful horses.

And today as I saw them...each horse standing alone...I felt they sort of resembled me...my past maybe a year or so ago~ and now my future as it is unfolding.

For my run back...the wind was sooo fiercly cold as it hit my face and my neck {they were bright red and I felt cold...so I decided to run part of the run backwards
{double benefits you know ~ shielded my face and neck from the wind and a great workout}

Similar to my life ~ in my past ~ I have felt I have had to run backwards to go forward sometimes{you know to tune out the negative in my environment} 

And with myself I have faced challenges~ physically, mentally, and the like...but you know what I realized is that I was still moving forward running backwards...

I was still going. I have faced those challenges head on this past year and even when I didn't see the finish or feel it was near. I faced them the best I could...not always perfect but the best I could....regardless I still found a way to move forward ~ 

I knew the finish would come eventually...and I put my "back" to the negative while I was doing it in order to not go astray of my path ~ God never promised life would be easy ~ I just have to continue to be steadfast with my faith, beliefs, and hopes...

You see when I saw these horses this morning....
This was me in my past ~
shaken confidence
and someone who found it hard to see myself when I did
I never said no and spread myself too thin
I let people's judgments and comments get to me
I let myself feel less by other people...their actions, comments
And I was someone who didn't feel like a woman
because of infertility struggles
and eventually I started believing everyone's opinions of myself

 it happened over time...

And while I ran today ~ as I turned to run facing the wind again ~
I came over an incline and saw 
~ the finish line ~
the beauty in this horse and thought...
this is who I will become...
if I'm not there yet...
I will get there...
but that will be me and is me.

I will stand tall and proud of who I am {always}
I will love myself completely
I will stand up for myself if needs be
I will share my feelings
I will look in the mirror and be happy with who I see rather than find every critique possible
I am a woman who merely wants to show my girlie side
I will continue to be me through it all
I will see my dreams unfold this year, yes in 20.10 ~  family, life, personal, and my business dreams

I will be how I saw this horse...
confident, strong, and graceful.
I will admire the view, seeking life and all it's possibilities...

And I will do it with my faith, with a lot of hopes for my dreams, and believing in myself....
And I will have those close to me to help hold me accountable for believing in me...

I use these three words for quite some time now and still find they apply for me in 20.10. 
Faith
Hope
Belief
...that is why when I started blogging, I wrote from the beginning in my profile that...

"our goal is to continue living a dream that is daily coming true {Van Morrison lyrics to our wedding song} but with faith, hope, and love, and prayer we know that all things are possible..."

And this is my journey so far...and one that I hope, believe, and know I will continue to press on this year...20.10!

20 comments:

Laurie said...

Beautiful words from a beautiful person

DustyLu said...

Very inspiring. Thank you. Happy New Year 2010 lulu

Mary said...

What a wonderful post! I know those dreams are going to unfold for you this year...just stay positive and believe in yourself. I need to do the same thing. I feel unsure of all the changes going in my business life these days. So scary! But I know in the end it will be a good thing. We will never know what we can do if we don't take risks, right? You will get there...you are heading in such a great direction already. I have a feeling I may need to refer to this post of yours a time or two this year! ;o) ~mary~

Rebekah said...

Lovely post, I enjoyed it very much! I feel like I was there with you on that run...

koralee said...

Amazingly lovely post today...I love your words.."I was still moving forwards running backwards"..wow..they are so so true...we are always moving forward even if we think we are not. Thank you for sharing your journey today.xo

Nancy said...

Wow... that was a beautiful post. Very well said. Happy New YEar!

jules said...

so beautiful, just found your blog. nice to meet you, jules

Tracey said...

Your writing is getting so good Martha...so inspiring! I love how you say that you turned your back on the negative...and that sometimes you have to go backwards to move forward...you're deep girl!!! :) Love this post!

And I'm impressed with how dedicated a runner you are!!

Happy new year sweetie! Many blessings in 2010!!!

:) T

Kasey said...

good morning martha...
i really did feel like i was on that run with you except i was the one breathing heavily;-)
You are a beautiful writer...
and i can't wait to see you move forward..
or run forward...

xo

tara said...

Beutiful post Martha! You really had a great run, and I think sometimes those are the best times to refresh the soul...I did the same yesterday, althought it was the sun that was making my face red! :). I can't wait to see your dreams come true, I will be here reading and waiting...thank you for your friendship, you are a real treasure! Happy New Year!

Lissa said...

I just started running again... I'm a little sore... anyways, I LOVE to run alone like that and think and lose myself to my surroundings! You have a beautiful place to run in!

JMay said...

Wow, loved reading this-very inspiring! :-)

I need to start running again!

Cute blog lady, will be following.

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

Dearest Martha,

Quit writing so beautifully.
You are making us look bad : )

Oh, and for the love of Pete quit being so cute too.

Gaww the nerve of some people looking all cute in their profile pics.
(love the boots girlfriend!)

mimi charmante said...

Miss Martha, you are so incredibly inspiring. From your running, to your perseverance, to your amazingly positive outlook. I feel so blessed to have met you, and to know first hand what a bright light you are. I do hope that you see how fabulous you are in others' eyes.
Love to you,
xx

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

Martha, this is so beautiful and inspiring!

Farmgirl Paints said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts...just beautiful!

melissa said...

Hi Martha-
New here to your blog (a friend of Paige) and I am so happy to have found you. Such beautiful, inspiring words! Thank you!!

Jill said...

Hi Martha,

A beautifully written post. Nice of you to share these thoughts! I look forward to reading more about your journey.

Cheers!
Jill

LuLu said...

i'm cathing up and so glad i didn't miss this post... it's so beautiful Martha... I'm running with you :)
here's to life's road and making it the best!
xo,
LuLu

christina @ sage creek said...

hi martha...
i've so embarrassed to admit that i haven't checked in for a while. life has been beyond hectic, and reading for me is such an indulgence. i'm so glad i found this... it is so insightful. my sweet husband was telling me this exact same thing not too long ago... "that sometimes we must move backwards in order to move forwards." most days i feel as though i'm just treading water, trying to keep afloat. thanks for sharing your lovely insights!!

hugs to you - christina