The Road Underneath Me...

For as long as I know...the road underneath me is quite a constant...

sometimes it feels long....

sometimes it is uphill...

most of the time adventurous...

challenging in ways you never expect it...

sometimes the road is a *freeing* downhill...

and sometimes it is just plain beautiful...with the scenery...barns...atmosphere...

And when I ran today...the phrase "the road underneath me" wouldn't leave my mind...and that is when I knew this run was going to show me something...

Just as in life...we have much ahead of us like the roads keep going...it is about which path you take

sometimes days seem long...

some seem way too short...and you just wish you could squeeze in a few extra hours of enjoyment...

other times life's circumstances have you feeling like they have you constantly going uphill...

and other times you feel the rewards, comfort, and joy...

but when all this is going on...you also realize your life is full of adventure...both good and bad...fun challenges and also difficult ones

you have things in life that make you stop and admire the beauty ~ whether it is your children...family...the roof over your home...or the ocean...

some things register through sound ~ katydids during summertime,

through sight.... like the break of the waves,

or even touch.... when a hug works magic

As I went on my run today...the road seemed peaceful...
{maybe because no one in their right mind was outside}

But my challenge was the extremely cold wind...I felt prepared being bundled up...but I knew what awaited me outside...
it was one of those days where you just have to accept the challenge and go for it without looking back...but seeing the road beneath me go by as I moved forward

You see in our neighborhood there are 3 beautiful homes along the side of our neighborhood that have quite a bit of land ~ they were here way before the homes in our subdivision were ~ and as I am running I think about if the owners are happy that all of these houses now have become the view of their front windows.

They had all of this land before and 4 or so years ago it was gone~ whether they sold it themselves or had no control over the neighborhood being built ~ I still love to look over on that side of the road during my runs to see them and the land around them....because it is just beautiful.

When I leave our little section of houses to the main road of our subdivision I see this white house with a porch all along the front {my favorite}~ they have a barn and some land where they have 2 beautiful horses.

And today as I saw them...each horse standing alone...I felt they sort of resembled me...my past maybe a year or so ago~ and now my future as it is unfolding.

For my run back...the wind was sooo fiercly cold as it hit my face and my neck {they were bright red and I felt cold...so I decided to run part of the run backwards
{double benefits you know ~ shielded my face and neck from the wind and a great workout}

Similar to my life ~ in my past ~ I have felt I have had to run backwards to go forward sometimes{you know to tune out the negative in my environment} 

And with myself I have faced challenges~ physically, mentally, and the like...but you know what I realized is that I was still moving forward running backwards...

I was still going. I have faced those challenges head on this past year and even when I didn't see the finish or feel it was near. I faced them the best I could...not always perfect but the best I could....regardless I still found a way to move forward ~ 

I knew the finish would come eventually...and I put my "back" to the negative while I was doing it in order to not go astray of my path ~ God never promised life would be easy ~ I just have to continue to be steadfast with my faith, beliefs, and hopes...

You see when I saw these horses this morning....

This was me in my past ~

shaken confidence

and someone who found it hard to see myself when I did

I never said no and spread myself too thin

I let people's judgments and comments get to me

I let myself feel less by other people...their actions, comments

And I was someone who didn't feel like a woman
because of infertility struggles

and eventually I started believing everyone's opinions of myself

 it happened over time...

And while I ran today ~ as I turned to run facing the wind again ~
I came over an incline and saw 

~ the finish line ~

the beauty in this horse and thought...

this is who I will become...

if I'm not there yet...

I will get there...

but that will be me and is me.

I will stand tall and proud of who I am {always}

I will love myself completely

I will stand up for myself if needs be

I will share my feelings

I will look in the mirror and be happy with who I see rather than find every critique possible

I am a woman who merely wants to show my girlie side

I will continue to be me through it all

I will see my dreams unfold this year, yes in 20.10 ~  family, life, personal, and my business dreams

I will be how I saw this horse...

confident, strong, and graceful.

I will admire the view, seeking life and all it's possibilities...

And I will do it with my faith, with a lot of hopes for my dreams, and believing in myself....

And I will have those close to me to help hold me accountable for believing in me...

I use these three words for quite some time now and still find they apply for me in 20.10. 
Faith
Hope
Belief
...that is why when I started blogging, I wrote from the beginning in my profile that...

"our goal is to continue living a dream that is daily coming true {Van Morrison lyrics to our wedding song} but with faith, hope, and love, and prayer we know that all things are possible..."

And this is my journey so far...and one that I hope, believe, and know I will continue to press on this year...20.10!