5...4...3...2...1...

In light of the thankfulness spirit this week...I'll share a few things...now...I started about mid-summer...and please remember to note "started" in that phrase!...a thankfulness journal.

I was gifted with a journal for one of our anniversay gifts and in my business they talk a lot about staying thankful and postive through all situations...I do it on a regular basis but making it to paper just doesn't always happen every day!...I know...I know...you must write things down...but somedays it is just picking and choosing what you can get done vs what you would like to get done...

{Carrie's beautiful daughter Kennedy}

In some days of doing it...I found I also started to turn it into my dreams journal too...but...{now that I think about that I am not so sure I should have even mentioned it just because I wouldn't want sneaky people searching for it in my house you know:)....HA! wink.wink there and just kidding}

Anyhoo...so today I'll share with you what I am thankful for...{these are in no specific order mind you}

number five... I'm thankful for the Lord...who is my rock and my salvation {II Samuel 22:2}...

number four... I'm really thankful for the growth of what I do because...

      seeing the girls enjoy the beach puts a smile on my face every day!

number three...I'm thankful for the friendships I have gained since I have taken the leap into blogworld...

       you all have allowed me to open up in ways I never knew possible...

number two... I'm thankful for the health of my family...even though the girls have colds...I'm thankful for

       just the colds you know...

number one... I'm thankful for my coastal living magazine I just received in the mail...YAH!...I

      ordered the subscription during summer time to support a neighbor's fundraiser...real hard making

      that purchase let me tell you {actually Bobby suggested it before me}...and it just showed up on 

      my doorstep yesterday!

I guess I do have a wee bit of an addition...I am very thankful for one of my longest friends I have known ~ Carrie...I'd say about 3 weeks ago...we went to a Tiger game...one of the funnest days we had...and loved spending time with a dear friend...she is terrific...and we always just pick up where we leave off kind of thing. I love that about her {plus the fact we are on the same wave length with well pretty much a lot!}...she didn't mind if I posted some super cute pics of her little girl Kennedy...her Daddy is one of the coaches for the Tigers so we had great seats...she has one adorable son too...but he stayed home so no pictures of him...maybe a good thing because my heart melted when I saw him {first time seeing him in person}...just saying you know...and no that doesn't mean a 3rd is on the way folks...making that perfectly clear!

{M-I-Z-    Z-O-U}

{Kennedy with her Daddy before he walked across the Tiger Walk with the team}

And if you want to read some super great posts on friends...check out this post {here} and this one {here} too...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eightieth Birthday Party...

A couple of weekends ago....we took a little road trip {after Bobby's modeling by the barn...by the way he feels completely embarrassed...but I love the pictures and glad we did it!}

So we took a little trip....about an hour and a half away...to have a very important celebration! My Grandfather's 80th Birthday Party {which I had NO idea it was a surprise until right before they walked in the door by the way}. Good thing I didn't spill the beans or anything, right?!

{by the way...this is my favorite picture taken of the day...

my Grandma with that expression on her face and my Grandpa looking at her}

My Grandpa is a very special kind of guy....my mom has 5 siblings {4 brothers, 1 sister} whom were all there...wonderful food was there...lots of people at my Uncle Mark's home...and lots of conversation...

I don't get to visit as often as we would like...but it was so nice to visit for the day...and see everyone together ~ aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and the like!

The girls had a tea party...they were gift with a little tea set and table...and one of my Uncle Mark's pups joined in...they loved it and super cute!

Food...and more food...seriously have I mentioned my family likes to eat?...there was so much wonderful food we all never stopped eating...or so it felt like!...

{only 2 dishes out of probably 20 no joke!}

A few of my very favorite things about my Grandpa...

~ he loves his children and grandchildren very much...


~ I love that it never fails he always says grace before meals...that's something that is very important to Bobby and I for our children {not just before meals but you know what I mean}...and everytime we see him I love to see how important his faith is to him...and I love that the girls can see and hear it from him too...

~ he spent over 25+ years {I believe...I just blanked on the exact years} as a trainer for my favorite college football team ~ MU...he loves to care for people and even took a couple of people in his home during his time at the college....

and when I tore both of my ACL's...he helped my parents find the best doctors available...we were so grateful because it does make a difference the doctors you have...

{this is one of my very favorite photos of my Grandpa when he was the trainer...

it always was framed and hung downstairs...I loved seeing it every visit we made there}

Happy 80th Birthday Grandpa! It was a joyful celebration for all there!

And on the way home...the girls were out before we even got to the highway...{fyi for you...our girls rarely sleep in the car...so that's why this is pretty notable!}

...And I'm sure you noticed all the photos pretty much in collages...well that is the only way this post would accept my pictures today...does anyone else have this problem...and how do you solve it? The two pics that were collages were downloaded last night:) Hmmm....

A deep breathe....and an added giggle...

I'm not going to even say I've been somewhat MIA this week [me saying that is actually saying that right?}...I've not been writing anything {like I'm some writer but you get where I am going right ~ those that write blogs know what I mean}...

but mostly

I've been MIA{mentally MIA} from my husband....

MIA from....my girls....

MIA....from work...

MIA...from friends....

MIA....{and this one hurts bigger than all}....

with giving God my complete trust...and this is a completely different situation in case you are wondering...some days I feel like when it rains, it pours...

and then I look at the "rains" and know matter-of-factly...it could be much, much worse you know. I've seen and experienced worse!

So I must say ....deep breath....take a big deep breath....

regroup...

keep calm and carry on! {I love that saying! and if only I could do it 100% of the time...which just letting you know beforehand it didn't happen these past two weeks with this issue}

What has happened...

I had placed orders with some wonderful...all wonderful businesses over the last month or so...some were spread out...days apart...others weeks apart with shipping just because of various reasons...

all sent via the postal service {and as I am writing this I am ironically seeing a postal commercial in which it makes me cringe right now}...

And the first package...

didn't receive....NOPE...even though tracking indicates so....didn't receive it....

So I let both the post office and sender know...thinking perhaps it was just a mistake by the post office...because I did receive a package from someone completely different the same day...home at time of delivery so nothing was taken off of my porch...First of all...who would take just 1 package out of 2
Secondly, I was home!

Okay so spent a week trying to locate this package...talk to neighbors and those that our addresses used to get mixed up when we first moved here 4 years ago because new subdivision, etc.

NOPE...pretty much said nothing the post office could do....

So sender is very patient and understanding at the time...gave her what I had found out with conversation, etc.

Package is resent...in the meantime 2 other orders were placed before the first went missing...mind you not knowing this would get worse...

So...one of my packages takes 2 weeks to even get to the STL area...odd...very odd we both talked about...but arrived in the area and let them know I would let them know ASAP when I received it because they were worried even before me...I didn't bother checking and Monday comes and goes when it should have been there...so I checked the tracking since I assumed since it was in our downtown area...it should arrive soon to our home so that is why I didn't check the exact date it was scheduled for delivery...

The Number said delivered...not in fact delivered...I was home at mail time...no package...and I e-mailed the first person since she was supposed to re-send, etc. to get tracking info because my stomach dropped when I saw this happen again, and I got scared...that number said delivered on the same day too...

I AM FREAKING OUT!!!! HUGE! BIG! BALLING MY EYES OUT...I not even kidding...and not saying it that way for dramatic reading...just ask hubby...I was a basket case...I've been consumed...MIA from my family and the outside world trying to get this figured out over the phone...

So I hesitantly contact someone I had ordered from and wasn't sure if she sent my order because I was going to put a halt to that and give hubby's work address...can't even use my parents since they have the same mail person as me {same subdivision just farther down}...

And well she was so efficient with her work and sorting orders she mailed it and I should have received it Monday as well....my heart dropped...

So not ONE....not TWO...not THREE...but FOUR packages {one of them resent from someone so 3 orders} are MIA right now...

Not only am I mortified...I am horrified because most who know me...know that I am business owner...I understand everything a personal business does...I promise I understand EVERYTHING...

Some more facts?

Can you tell I am about facts....{I was pre-law in college so facts are a great language for me}

My normal carrier on both of those days was not working but a substitute....so that should say something huge...but I guess not...

3 out of the 4 were said delivered but were not because I WAS HOME...and NO PACKAGES there...I tell you I am a HAWK with the mail...I always have been and got that from my Dad...if we knowingly see mail delivered...right that instant we ALWAYS grab it! Lets just say I could possibly be diagnosed with OCD if ever checked...because I cannot stand not addressing mail the minute I see it...it definitely drives Bobby CRAZY...literally...{mail makes me happy and so much easier to order from people you want to support than walk into a crazy store where you don't enjoy shopping...that's why I enjoy what I do...I shop in my comfy pajama clothes....HA!}...

I have filed numerous reports with 3 reference numbers and the postal inspector's office tells me everytime they will get back to me in 2 days...NOPE...BIG FAT NOPE on that one...and so I call back...got yelled at because I questioned the fact to the customer service rep that I would like an update on something since I was told 2 days...NOT 2 days...and I asked why...
 and if it really was going to be 2 days...at first he didn't acknowledge I even asked him a question in which I asked him why he was ignoring me and in a yelling tone I was told...you just have to wait 2 days!....and I can tell you have I waited two more days and nothing....

Then I am told by my local office there is nothing they can do because the inspector's office will get back to me in which 1 of the 3 I talked to before I got hung up on mind you...and had to start the 1-800 "push those stinkin' number thing" all OVER again...told me the local post office would get back to me...HUH?

I have talked with the USPS supervisor since I don't get returned call from the postmaster EVERY DAY FOR TWO WEEKS pretty much...nothing...the substitute carrier said they were delivered...and someone is lying...albeit in transit to my house...the sub carrier...or neighbors who are not forthcoming...

So now what?....

I realized Thursday of this week that I may never get an answer...BUT I will never quit trying....not getting your mail is a BIG deal...even though those items are just "things" in life....they are "lovelies" to me...and being violated with things taken from you is the bigger point here...

I have to give this to God...and allow him to do his work...

I have figured out the reason this has made me so sick is that it not only hurts me....but I am trying to explain that this hurts these wonderful women who are sending me these items and their businesses too...it's not just me it hurts...

Believe me...I do not want to spend my entire day almost every day {some days only a 1/2 day} on this anymore...I'd rather have my items I ordered...little lovelies I loved even before they were here...

I am mortified this hurt my ordering reputation with these businesses because I just adore them...I have gotten to know these wonderful women with their writing...and I have tried to explain to them that I would never harm them...I am an honest person...and that I am working NONSTOP to try to get this resolved...because quite frankly...I rather be enjoying my vintage items than having people make me cry...getting yelled at...seeing these businesses lose money...

Well two businesses have worked me with so well on this issue...one so gracisouly refunded my order in which I have to find a way to help her because it breaks my heart...she is one of the sweetest and my most favorite blogs to visit...and the other is the same...and without even thinking about it she set aside replacements for me when I see her very soon...now that is exactly why I want to support these women...I cannot even describe what their understanding and believe in me has meant...

Really how kind are they?...so I am so thankful for everyone that has supported me...my poor friend who happens to be a neighbor simply called me about a dessert...she just asked how I was and I broked down balling on the phone...which if you know me...I am so embarrassed because I don't cry in front of others...you know part of that bottling things up unless it is my rock solid people like Bobby and my parents...

and I felt so blessed today as I took a break from calling and doing everything I can to find out anything....went to my mother's group...and they are praying over this situation too...and their wonderfully nice kind words because they know me and the kind of person I am...

I thanked God today for a new day to start over...I have let this consume me...I don't do well with things I cannot find a resolution too...I have a hard time just giving those things to God...but the love you receive from friendships when you need them I have found through this situation has just brought me to tears...I received an amazingly nice e-mail from a friend who just felt my pain for me and telling me she is praying over this too...you cannot get better than that.

A realization came a couple nights ago when talking with my mom...she just simply said...Martha listen to their {the girls} laughs...and that is what it was took to get me to snap out of this funk....obsession ...

I took a deep breathe...listened to the giggles from my little girls...and said a prayer that God will help me release this to Him...

To be quite honest...I know these are "things"...and such...I've been through worse...but I am trying to explain this not only hurts me not receiving my items...but it is hurting those senders who sent me my order BIG! I am having a hard time with that...but I also know I am not responsible for this...

Maybe some lessons learned here...

I encourage everyone who is mailing to not just track a package but maybe think to insure it too. 

Friday when I asked my mother's group for prayers was hard for me...I don't ask for help or prayers...and when I received help with a listening ear from my friend across the street... I felt warmed...and her Grandmother who was an Ex-Postmaster told me not to give up...because yes something happened to these packages...because I cannot have it to where I can never receive anything again...

All this was ordered before I knew a problem existed...so I have been told by some...just don't order...well I never would have if that happened...I mean these are gifts. Bobby and I wanted to take the initiative to support businesses like myself for Christmas not big chain stores...so many were gifts...some were items for myself...so that is definitely my solution for now...or to have it shipped elsewhere...a simple and quick solution I am doing...

BUT...I cannot stop living my life either and not ever order anything again...to be quite frank...I'd rather order online or e-mail someone with an order than step foot into a chain store where there is clutter and chaos...I did mention how I don't do well with that...yet I have always wanted to try out Black Friday...which doesn't even make sense, right? I guess that goes to show you I may in fact be nuts:) to want to try that day...

...and I still realize I don't do well in situations I am not able to find a solution for...or cannot control...

Thank you to those who have shown me, loved on me, and most importantly those businesses who will always be dear to me for believing me and in me through this situation...your kind words and understanding has meant the world...

...And if you really read this ENTIRE post...well I will extra enter you into my 100th post celebration coming up!!! Oh I promise I will enter you in an extra 3 times for my rambling...I'm just saying...I have so much to post about but everytime I sit down to write...this situation is what comes out...

By the way...these pictures are from hubby's birthday celebration night...dinner and gifts...and wishes...

I have been so caught up in finding solutions everything has been neglected and I became an obsessive, emotional person over this...I don't like that...so if you are someone who would take the time please say a little prayer that the right person comes forth with information I would truly love that:)

...this is a crime with what has been done...anything that didn't fit into my mailbox...I never received...

a prayer for those businesses that this happened to as well because it didn't just harm me...

A week to be thankful this week...that's what I'm doing:) Blessings to you all!

By the way...that gorgeous burlap banner is from {here}....and the coffee-stained tags are from {here}

You make me smile...

Well...this beautiful barn does make me smile...but today's post isn't about the barn...although it could be because it really makes me smile...

but what makes me smile even more is my handsome hubby...aka Bobby...{not Bob as he now tries to introduce himself now-a-days...HA!...those that have known us a long time or family agree that completely doesn't fly...he can always try i guess:)}...

but before you say "eeewww" it's a mushy gushy post today...it's his birthday today...

 Happy Birthday my love!

Over the weekend we had some fun...did a little trespassing {oops...should I be saying that?...well we'll just say we stopped by some land and a house with a barn that was for sale...and checking it out...that's our story}

...I made my husband blush a little

not in the way you are thinking...and if you are...where are your thoughts at? :) {laughing}... blushing as in he was embarrassed to be by himself here...

But really...he's so funny to me...you know those moments where something happens around the house...and you are thinking...who in the world did that...you go through the process of elimination...thinking...

I know it wasn't me...even though I probably do my fair share of those things...but this time it's not me...

Definitely not Madison...

Couldn't have been Hayley...

wasn't the pup, Cadence...

Or the water frogs...Ribbit and Ribbit...

So who does that leave?....hmmm....probably handsome hubby, right?

Well then you ask...and it's "what are you talking about? I didn't do it..."

Sometimes I think to that...it must be "ribbit" and "ribbit", right? And then I realize that must be where our Hayley gets that stuff from {Bobby would say BOTH of us...I hesistantly say he's right (sighing)}...

how did I get onto this...

well I had to stop to read Miss Hayley a book at the moment {so don't think that is the first thing that pops in my mind about hubby because it isn't}...

So we got to a page she just so happened to color on {another day}...and hmmm...she looks at it...looks at me...her face was saying...who me? not me....First time I've seen it mommy...I promise!

She verbalizes "Uh Oh...color"...like she has no idea how in the world it happened...

that's my hubby...and my Hayley...{and honestly I love that about them...our little secret though because I wouldn't want either of them to know since he would say it's okay if he does that on a routine basis you know} 

BUT let's be honest here...I'm definitely plenty guilty of it myself at times...but my problem is I end up telling him what I did...I've really got to come up with better stories though...like when I blew up our microwave last year...I had nothin'!...and each time I tried to stutter out an explanation...he said "nope"

...but this is what we were up to for part of our Saturday morning...{and yes I changed my opening song to "Smile" by Uncle Kracker on purpose...because it is the truth with Bobby...every single word of that song...he makes me smile...he is just that great...but of course my log-in info won't work so  it won't change...click on song 3 if you like}

we smile...we drive each other nuts...we have fun...we do argue sometimes...and he says "Who Me?"....and I say "Yes you...it's for sure not the trees or something babe!"....

then he pouts....

the best part about these pictures is that he didn't know I was taking these until too late...gave us something to laugh about for sure...{he really is a great sport with a lot of things with me! you are probably shaking your heads in agreement right about now...because I just did too}

BUT most of all my favorite thing together is laughing and talking ~ we are pretty great at that....I wouldn't trade it for the world...

we pray together often...

we love together...

we cry together...out of happiness and sadness...

and we really love to dream together...

He is my best friend without a doubt...my love...someone who is a lot deeper than he gives himself credit for...I love that about him...because he so gets it!

he accepts me for who I am...{most of the time}...you know I've said it before...until the "type A" makes a daily appearance on him...{I'm sure that just got a chuckle out of him}...because to him...I'm sure daily was the keyword there for him...

he loves on me with his patience...his prayers...his encouragement...his funny comments and actions...{he really thinks he's funny too...and it's a good thing because he really is...}

and He always cracks me up when he gets a little curious....but don't worry...he doesn't go peeking in anyone's cupboards or anything when we are somewhere...just lettin' you know in case you just started thinking about when he's visited you or something...

                                        

He really is a man I am thankful for...and I'm very proud to say he is my husband...

To be honest that is always something I need to do better at telling him...

because I really don't say it enough...and he really needs that sometimes...

I'm proud of you Bobby!

proud of you always and with everything you do...

You are great at everything you put your heart into...you just need to believe that about yourself...

...and the best part is...you have always loved me...for me...

You're just that great of a man...Happy Birthday my love!

You are a true treasure in my life!

We {the girls and I} have a few different things up our sleeves this year...nothing big...but a few things I know he will love when he arrives home after dinner with us and the fam...he really loves all that stuff deep down you know...can't wait!

Blessings for you today handsome hubby!

New Treasures...

Some new treasures have been added to my Christmas decor! I couldn't wait until they got here...and Madison and I were thrilled to open the package together...

I'm just in love! The trees sparkle with glimmer...the church makes me smile...and now all I can think about is that table to be covered with vintage sheet music...so I'm on a mission to find some sheet music and getting that table covered...I think it will look great!

Oh how I love that bell...it just makes my heart pitter patter...

And I'm thinking to add something small to this peg on the side of the church...but I just don't know what....

hmmm....I'll have to think about that one...but the church to me is just perfectly imperfect...I love it!

I think candlelight would be just the right touch on that table...so this little display is still a bit of a work in progress...

I'm in love...and smiling...

Still on My Mind...

It's late tonight...I was a little bit restless today and some tonight...so I thought I would just write...

Today was one of those days...where I was unexpectedly tested...had those feelings of hurt...and that pain sneak up on me...{briefly mentioned here}..and tried to take a bite! Nope...I told myself...I'm not going to let it happen...because I am making a decision to recognize it...pray about it...and let it go.

I refuse to go there...because there is nothing productive about it...

With the mention of someone's name today by hubby....my chest began to constrict...and tighten...

"ick" I felt and said to myself. My chest tightened all over again just as the day I found out about it. I felt that hurt again.

I am surprised it bothered me so today...because I haven't felt that way in a long time...I had been doing so well with it.

But today was different...I thought I had let it go...but today I discovered I needed Him to help me through...I must have some hurt still buried there.

With other people's actions that tried to separate hubby and I...I learned it never had anything to do with us...they are not a part of our path...our dreams...our day-to-day walk in life...they never were...so why did it bother me? I cannot answer that...but what I can say was that He was there to help me through today...guiding me to find comfort in Him...{and no one else}...to grow today even when I felt it was a step backward...I see now at the end of the night that it was really me taking a step forward.

Before today for awhile now I thought I had let go...forgiven...and started to genuinely care about that person and their family again like I used to...so I was shocked that it bothered me. I don't want those feelings of hurt...I want my "normal" me...caring and kindness. Through this past year I discovered my "normal" changes as I adjust to life and situations. I can still be that caring and kind person but one that also stands up for myself...

one that doesn't hold in when I shouldn't...

but restrains when I should...

one that believes in myself always...still working on that always...I am sure I will always be working on that.

I have had many conversations with hubby about this person not even thinking of that situation...talking with hubby how that person's family is {because if I like it or not...they are in hubby's life right now and there is no changing it}.

But No matter what that person has done...I don't want to feel that feeling...carry those thoughts...have it bombard my day...my life. No one can harm us unless we let them.

I was caught off guard today by myself with hurt...not anger...but just hurt. However...today I dealt with that hurt the best I have yet to date...and I am so thankful for the strength He gave me today...because I did what I said I wanted to do...I recognized it...prayed about it...and I can now say right now I have let it go.

I do know that I have a husband I love and he loves me...I can trust him with all of my heart and have so much faith in him...he has never given me any reason not to. I just have to remember that...it was never him...but someone else's actions and words...he is faithful in every sense of the word.

Bobby and I know that we walk hand in hand together...with similar dreams on the same path...walking it together...that is something we have always known without question. I am thankful for him in my life every day...whether it is seeing him or hearing his voice when he is out of town...I am thankful for his support in my life {well except when he thinks I am a little nutty...HA!...and little may be an understatement to him}

This post is not ever something I would normally do...ever! It "normally" would just be sharing too much for me...way too much. {But} I do know for certain that it would have helped me through...if others may have shared with me...so I'm just doing it...

I am a true believer that God puts tools in your path for you to use...to develop yourself...so you can use your gifts...and to grow. I know I must have started this blog so I can learn to open up...not keep everything in.

I feel like I'm now doing that.  4 months ago...I don't think I could have written this...but I'm not looking back now...this is my tool to share my heart, all of my loves and experiences...and to write to let go...It's a continual work in progress ~ like me!

I do know that I can always find strength and comfort in God and my faith...I have to remember to entrust Him with every situation...He is the only one with my plan. He has always gotten me through every single situation...the good...the bad...the wonderful...and the ugly! I'm just taking one step at a time.

I will report this morning started so splendidly {a word hubby just loves when I use...just like the word "refreshing" that I now have him saying}...sidetracked...oops!

This morning Hayley said "love you" to me...YEP! I got the first "love you" from my youngest {and oldest too}...not that it is a competition or anything:)...Bobby and I would never do that...yah right!}...but it made my whole day, week...and well morning too since I was tired...

last night I was up all night with her...but our late night was all erased when she said those words to me...loved it!

So on another wonderful and lighter note...stop by one of my fav's....Tracey  {French Larkspur}...she's having a give-a-way you don't want to miss...ooohhhh how exciting! ...it ends Sunday...

And the pictures from today...was our annual Operation Shoebox shopping day....It is one of my favorite things we do in November together...a little tradition I started since my girls were little babies {even though they didn't know what in the world we were doing at the time}. 

Let me tell you...Real fun time with Miss Hayley barely getting any sleep last night...but for her little age we kind of expect that on all shopping trips with her right now... Miss Madison this year had a great time shopping...she  understood what we were doing and why...and for whom: 2 little girls...and that we have it send it off to those 2 girls...etc.

Hayley just thought she was being spoiled...and geez she was surprised when everything was packed up when we got home and not for her...complete meltdown!

Blessings and love to you all!